Tuesday, July 08, 2008


Look this is my life, and it's a battle within
I gotta survive, even if I'm sinnin to win
And if I show no remorse I reap the devil's reward
He said he'd, give me riches but I'm lookin for more…
(Keep hustlin) It ain't over for me, no it ain't over for me
(Keep, flowin) I'ma step my game up and get what's comin to me
Terrence Howard (DJay) - Hustle And Flow (It Ain't Over)

One of my favorite films to watch, when I need some inspiration to keep hustling, to keep focused and stay steading grindin is Hustle and Flow. I watch Terrance Howard’s character DJay dealing with the battle with in, tryna survive like the lyrics say even if he’s sinnin to win. You don’t wanna do wrong but you tryna eat by any means necessary. You wanna do right but no one will give you a shot. You know what you doin is wrong but dem bills keep comin in, faster and faster and it seems like you just sinking and need a break from the everyday struggles of life.

There is this one part in the movie where DJay and Anthony Anderson’s character Keyes is kickin it in the car and Keyes talks about all the dreams he had when he was younger. Owning his own studio and having his own label and now its like he is doin what he doin just to pays bills. He questions if he was just talking a good game when he was younger.

Well that’s exactly where I am, that’s exactly what I have been goin thru the last few years. I had madd dreams off where I would be by now. And instead I have been working every odd job I can find. I mean I wasn’t exactly workin women on the streets or selling drugs but still the same I knew everything I was doin wasn’t what I was suppose to be doin and not always right. The closer I got in my Christian walk the worst my financial situation got. I didn’t feel right doin some of the hustles I used to, but I was torn cause what to do cause I keep feelin that temptation to go out there and get that money so I would have to struggle so hard. While I know that money was out there I did feel like God had bigger plans for me.

Then the line that I felt the most in the movie was when Keyes says, this right here gotta work, cause it aint over for me. There was also a line in Eminem’s semi-autobiographical joint 8 Mile, where he says if its gonna happen it needs to happen now. Now I know Gods time frame isn’t the same as mine and He can see the bigger picture. Sees the dangers ahead and where I will be even though I can’t. We want what we want now. We feel we been thru enuf and just about ready to do whatever is necessary.

Well that’s what I have always done and more times than not it ended up not necessarily being the best look for me. I couldn’t wait for God, I had to make it happen on my own. The fact of the matter a good part of the reason it was takin so long was that I was too busy tryna make moves and getting in God’s way. I was too busy tryna do it my way. I wasn’t being obedient to what God wanted me to do but wanted Him to bless me with what I wanted. Knowing that is half the battle but it doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t make the struggle any less hard. But when I took time to actually look at the situation in hindsight, what I was goin thru more times than not was the best thing for me. Was what I needed to go thru to prepare me for what was ahead.

Before given my life to Christ and I didn’t necessarily know any better, I just did what I had to do. But now I have that battle within, the battle of what I know I am suppose to do and what I have always done and what’s readily available for me to pay the bills, (even if I’m sinning to win.)

Today is one of those days, this is one of those weeks. I know what I should do but I know where I am and it gets harder and harder to do right. But I try to do what God has for me to do. Today instead of getting on the phone or hittin dem streets getting my hustle on, today I do what God wants me to do. That’s share this testimony with those of you out there goin thru the same thing. For me to tell my story so others that’s goin thru it can feel me cause they know I feel what they are goin thru. To share my God given gift of writing to inspire, uplift or encourage someone out there today.

Even this very minute while I write these words, God has my preaching to myself. So I walk that tightrope or doin His will and keep hustling man, cause I know like the chorus to that song, I gotta…
(Keep hustlin) It ain't over for me, no it ain't over for me
(Keep, flowin) I'ma step my game up and get what's comin to me

I didn’t survive all I went thru for nuthin, God has spared my life for a reason. I hope someone out there reading this is inspired to keep living their dream, to keep hustling and grinding for what it is there are tryna do. But in doin so know that God hasn’t brought you this far, too leave you now.

In closing I say to all reading this
Keep Hustlin, Keep Flowin, Keep Dreamin
and most important , Keep The Faith.
Cause It Aint Over For You, It Aint Over For You
Know God has plans for each and everyone of us.
And he gives us dreams and visions
And if you can see it you can achieve it.
No matter what’s goin on in ya life don’t ever lose the fight in you
Don’t every give up your dream or lose sight of your goal.

Cause it may be hard out there for a Pimp
But it’s even harder out there for a Christian! You aint know!!!

Look out for my upcomin book
da spiritual daily devotional for the hip-hop generation
available online real soon

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Anonymous R.S. McKie said...

BRUH you said a mouthful and it IS harder for a Christian…. I needed this. Thank you.

July 09, 2008 5:55 PM  
Blogger Sistah Kenya said...

Wow! Once again..gmta! You have spoken exactly what I feel and have felt for a minute. It is good to know that God has given me someone to be able to relate to and with! I thank God for you and your words of wisdom and experience AJ! This journey I have begun into the spiritual mind of yours is Awesome!

Thank you for humbling yourself to share your testimonies with the nation...I pray that everything you put your hands on prospers In Jesus Name!

Thanks again for the encouragement!

Peace & Blessings

Sistah Kenya

August 22, 2008 8:41 PM  

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